Xmas In A Box

For some reason or another, I feel so creative here in Australia, could be due to a lot of factors, nonetheless I am enjoying the creative ride.

Here are the steps I took to create my xmas in a box:

Step 1:

Draw a pretty little picture of something that resembles the holidays. I chose a mistletoe, at least I hope it looks like a mistletoe to everyone else. 

Step 2:

Sew some festive ribbon around the edges of your drawing (hence, box like).

Step 3:

Place another paper in back and attach the ribbon to it as well. 

Final Step:

Look at your xmas box in daylight and enjoy your creative work!

I had a lot of fun making this little thing, I hope to do many more in the future. 

Happy Holidays!

Remember you can make this box for whatever holiday you celebrate!

Interpretations

From my fingertips to the root of my identity
Who do you see?
Do you see the real me or do you envision the monster in your closet?
I just hold on to the reflection in that cracked mirror on my wall
It's me damaged and ruined by those defining lines of the broken mirror

Who evolved in front of your eyes? certainly not I
I have come a long way to forgive those little monsters in my head for you to bring them out into light
You will not take away who I am
You will not dictate me into that

The dawn creeped up in my mind excusing the light
I am secure of what constitute my soul
I have been a helping hand through out this time
I have opened myself to things that will only tarnish my semi-stable mind
I will reside in the corners of my mind, thinking this is just another day and tomorrow is not far

Progress

So, I went to this art seminar at the very trendy, West End, and it got me thinking of layers in paintings. It also got me thinking about the feeling of unfinished work. I now understand why I felt that way, why it was not the end all of the brush touching that canvas.

One of these days these will be finished and every step of the process will look nothing like the previous. I am hoping to have that finished feeling with these. I am thankful for having imagination and not taking it too seriously.
One day I will see this little lorikeet come to life, one of these days these abstract flowers will have blossomed in my eyes.


CC

Self-Portrait

Seems as though I see myself in a more masculine manner. I have never called myself an artist, nor have I ever pretended to be. I have always admired art and admire everyone who is so talented, but then I forget that art is not restricted to paintings and drawings, art is in everything we do in passion. 

I am proud of this self-portrait because it finally made me proud of a piece of my work. It took one little lesson from a very gifted artist to expand my artistic being.

It makes sense to create at this point in my life. School may be a big portion of who I am and something I have worked so hard for, but art drives me in a dimension incomprehensible to the science of which I love so much. However, there is so much art in science and maybe one day I can bring it together in the sane way I picture it and be able to translate it to paper or canvas or whatever else I will dabble in. 

CC

The Poetry I thought was lost

                                                           

Home to you, home for good

Unrestricted haven in the sullen slow

My hair grows in hopes to be braided

My legs move in hope of finding

Finding the patch that needs to sow

Running, running to take me back

Take me back, take me back, take me way back

To those moments of deep thoughts

To those sleepless nights full of fun

To the lazy days of dogs, covers and the mixed smell of you and I

My timid child side

My trickling braveness for that fight

But my blindness leaves me at halt

And I sit there listening to my heartbeat

Seems like the sound of a song I used to sing out loud

Running, running to take me back

Take me back, take me back, take me way back

To those moments of deep thoughts

To those sleepless nights full of fun

To the lazy days of dogs, covers and the mixed smell of you and I

I understand my fallen dream

To wake up submersed in that fear

Wearing what is lost as the latest style

To appreciate that I am just in a dream

Understanding

With the help from one of my favorite artist (Edvard Munch) can this entry be amplified to the point of understanding my thoughts. Because it all makes sense in my little head, but it translates different to the world. I used to write poetry so frequently, and people used to love it, but no one really comprehended what it meant to me.

Today's release:

How do I understand you when all you do is scream? I don't want to understand you. I don’t need to unravel you. I don’t need to solve that puzzle. Your complexity is not my problem to solve. We aim to get along and reach some kind of agreement. An unspoken agreement of concluded modesty.  But we are not modest and we are not cordial. We are reacting mechanisms to an instant trigger. We can’t help but to have depth to our emotions, a root to our actions and, a stem of our self-awareness. Because how self-aware are we? I’d like to think I know where it mostly stems from for me. However, in the end that is my own perception and based on the present level of awareness. How accurate can I possibly be, if I am already predisposed? There are these notions of knowing ourselves to improve us. Well, I call the bluff! It’s utter bullshit. People can be so aware of who they are, doesn’t mean they will change. They can still be the same manipulating idiot, just now with a self-aware idiot title.

Live and let live

CC

Rainbow

My little Rainbow Lorikeet, a work in progress, much like my degree. I know I am not the best painter, but the things I do are just to clear my head. The things I try to create come from an emotional place. I suppose these little artistic things mitigate the stress I may feel. My outlets are boundless, as am I. It's so hard at times to navigate through all these emotions. But this is life and I am in it and I am trying to swim with it and not against it. I have given in to Brisbane, I know it's expensive here. However, I have managed to feel acclimatized. Now, 7 bucks for coffee and a muffin is not so bad. I am going to love being back in NY and finding everything so damn cheap.
You do learn some much about yourself being far away from your usual environment. I know the things I need to work on and I am finally acknowledging my strengths and trying to expand upon them. I am just trying to be happy, although, so much of my happiness is in NY. I have heard so many stories of how people get to where they are in life and now I appreciate my not so so straight forward road. I may have taken some turns and gotten lost along the way, but I know the results I want and I shall accomplish them. I finally, in my 29 years of age are starting to feel like an adult and like I am finally solidifying my dreams. I am glad I didn't let fear get the best of me. As uncomfortable as it may feel sometimes, those moments are what really mold us.


CC

My work in progress. This type of mapping, which maps the causes of problems, will forever be engraved as a cognitive map in my head. If there is one thing I will get out of this course is to think beyond the microcosm of the problem environment. Thanks Bob! Cheers!

The simple things

what will this state of mind do?

Australia

Here I am in the beautiful city of Brisbane, in Australia, pursuing a Masters in Environmental Management. I didn't think I would get here so soon, actually I didn't think I would get here at all. but I am here. I have my doubts, pressures, insecurities, and most of all I have myself to deal with. I am not the best advocate for my success. I'm hoping this experience will help me feel different about myself. I think it already has, to an extent, but the road has just begun. It's not the same when you're out there in the world on your own. This will probably be the most memorable experience in my life.
About a week ago I got to see the north of this country, Airlie Beach. I got to visit the Great Barrier Reef and it was more than I ever expected it to be. It took my breath away. I teared in my snorkel goggles, haha(I really did!). I never appreciated marine ecosystems as I have and will do so from now on. I feel as though the more I will travel around this beautiful country, the more I will want to stay. I am considering my future here, but it's too soon to say. I have come to a point in my life where there are many other variables to consider based on time. I am not in my early twenties and I am certainly not a teenager anymore. The choices I make are solely based on these socially influenced time-lines, sad but true. People talk about having it all, but somewhere you have to make a choice and something gets either dropped for the moment or for the rest of your life....I hope I get to do what I have set out to do. I didn't want to be here, where I would look back at my life and say "should have done this, should have done that", I never want to regret. I just want to keep looking forward and keep moving, trying to win against time.


CC

Where do I stand?

Its about ten years now that I have been involved in this academic bubble. Part time and full time, I was living it, and it consumed so many of my thoughts and actions. Sometimes I think so much went by in between this time. Where was I really? Who was I really? and who did I really interact with? I come out thinking of all these different faces and places that I lived, but it all feels like it happened in seconds, not enough time for me to remember anything. But so much went on in almost ten years; broken hearts, broken friendships, lust and love convoluted into something I could not handle on my own. Here I am in the present thinking of the past. Without my past I wouldn't be the reconstructive person I worked so hard to be. I have been stripped down over and over again. I would like to think epiphany will suddenly appear from all this, instead I just find myself in an unstable emotional place. A place that needs tendering to, a place I viewed as the light at the end of the tunnel but never thought I would reach that end. Here I am just a few steps away from the light and it scares me more than the dark tunnel ever did.